Bed

This week has been a long week for me. Partly because I have been sick, but also because the girls have been sick. BreeAnee had a fever of 105.5 on Monday, Taylor had a fever of 103.4 yesterday. And Stacie fights me taking her temp so not sure exactly what she has been, the highest I was able to get from here was 100.7. Taylor has thrown up several times, but luckily I have only thrown up once. But my stomach sure wishes it could throw up more. It seems that when EVER I eat anything my stomach gets upset. So I haven't been eating much, which is making me weak cause I am still nursing Ayden.

So most of the day I have been in bed. Partly from needing to rest, but also not caring to want to do anything. The dishes are piled up still, and laundry is waiting to go into the dryer. But I think I have done something successful this week....made my kids into couch potatoes. Cause I haven't wanted to do anything more then lay in bed most of the week. Taylor one morning actually came into my room and said "Mom, you have a lot of dishes to clean" It just made me laugh.

Last week my OB told me I have post partum depression, but not sure if I do. I think I have sleep deprivation more then anything, but the idea that I do have post partum depression has made me depressed. Its amazing how that works. Its all in the head, even though I hate to admit to that one. Cause sometimes it is nice to give into those depressing feelings and thoughts instead of constantly burying them.

Some people think this is just the pessimistic side of me talking, which they might be right, but I find that feeling a sad feeling and moving on does more good then constantly mourning.

Wanting to be a blogger

I have yet to get really good about doing this blogging thing. And heck I only have three followers right now. I am glad that you guys are willing to deal with me and admit to be a follower of my poor pathetic blog. But I have to admit it saddens me to know I don't have others. Grant you I am sure it is my fault for not doing better about advertising I have a blog. And that I don't even do my blog probably also adds to it.

What I am saying, is that I want to be a better blogger, and fit into this blogger world. People say that blogging is a great way to express yourself and be yourself. So I am going to do just that. I am not going to hide who I am, if you don't like what you read then obviously you have a choice not to read.....

People say you should always show your best self to people, and for the most part I agree. I really do. And that is what I have tried, how ever successful I have been I don't know, and sometimes I think that does me more bad then good. Cause so many times I am not that person at all. So I am going to take the opportunity here to share how I really feel. Its not like that many people are reading any ways. And maybe it will make me better.

Sincerely

The Hidden Alisha